Lifting the Burden of Shame

In her 1985 one-woman show, Whoopi Goldberg morphed into a child and draped a shirt over her head to stand-in for long, blond hair. That piece of her show was real for me. My sister, Fox, and I used cardigans. Heavier than a blouse, a cardigan stayed in place without fussy re-adjusting, the neck- band shaped itself around our heads, ... Read More »

I’m the first Puerto Rican to have been admitted to the Delaware bar. Sans one Russian woman born in Cuba due to her family’s refugee status, I was the first Latina lawyer in the state of Delaware. That was back in 1980. I had been a lawyer only two years working in Boston when I moved to Delaware to be ... Read More »

I love a cold Jamaican Red Stripe beer or if I am in the mood for a drink, I will order a rum and coke with ice.  I love the art of communication. I enjoy talking to my fellow human beings but I have not mastered the art of articulating my inner emotions. I rely heavily on my favorite vocabulary ... Read More »

First time I heard the question, y porqué el? Not just romantic wonderment, but a trial. Why he, a string of accusations tucked into two words. Why an immigrant? Why someone with an accent? Why not an American like you?  And from the first person to the last person to ever ask, one thing became clear; they felt an immigrant was ... Read More »

I will always remember one of our first family vacations in the late 1990’s with our son, Jordan when he was about a year old. My wife, Norma Jean and I, were thrilled about our planned winter trip to Aruba with our baby boy. Norma and I were domestic partners then, as same-sex marriage wasn’t legal yet in New York. ... Read More »

I like to think that love is a garden that I grow. It goes through its cycle. And eventually, I learned that it has to die and disappear in order for regrowth. He was that one flower despite all the dead love around him that produced a light that never allowed death in. For me, he was the rain that ... Read More »

I met him when I was 21, my heart had been broken for the first time. I was still in love with my ex, but we couldn’t be together. I say this to impart that I wasn’t looking to meet anyone. I was introduced to Jean via my hair stylist who was married to his brother. When we met, he ... Read More »

“When the sins of our fathers visit us We do not have to play host. We can banish them with forgiveness. As God, in his Largeness and Laws”  August Wilson, Fences “Rose: I done tried to be everything a wife should be. Everything a wife could be. Been married eighteen years and go to live to see the day you ... Read More »

Shame is the universal companion of women, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that who we are is not enough. Shame is beyond annoying. It is debilitating. In order to unpack the shame that is immobilizing us from living our best life and from accessing our true power, we must analyze it like a glass slide under ... Read More »

Miscarriage is a distinct kind of heartbreak that cannot be defined. What do you do when you’ve miscarried a child you weren’t ready for? How do you get over the grief of a loss so profound, your heart can’t fathom it? And how do you consolidate two opposing emotions and console yourself through the pain? As much as I love ... Read More »