I truly believe that no one gets married to end up divorced and yet we see such high rates of divorce without understanding the context nor the deep-rooted shame that comes with it. I am a child of divorce. I’ve seen the end of my parents’ relationship and as much as I hated to admit it when I was a ... Read More »
On the plane ride to Portland, the first leg, HOU to SEA, I am seated by a woman with a 13-month-old boy – he sleeps, his strawberry blond cheeks puffed with air – he breathes. She says she will not arrive in Alaska until 7 a.m. He is impressive – sleeps almost the whole way to Seattle. He is tiny ... Read More »
Dear Shame, Dear Doubt, Dear Regret, Dear Second Guessing, Dear Sadness, Dear Grief, Dear Misery, Dear Loneliness, Dear Rejection, Dear Anxiety, Dear Depression, Dear Not Taking Chances: You will not win. I have already won. I am alive. The victory is in my heartbeat. This body has survived. Despite however many triumphs, the trauma of being stopped and frisked is ... Read More »
You can’t half-ass this vulnerability shit. You are either all the way in or all the way out. Sinverguenza Back before Facebook and Instagram replaced our basic needs for water and sleep, I was voted “Member of the Month” on the social networking site, MiGente.com. A popularity contest at best, and a hook-up site at worst, I chose my ... Read More »
Shame is a common feeling that a South Asian woman like me experiences over and over throughout our lifetime. Since my birth, this emotion has held on to me like a light scar that never fades. I’ve shaken it off a few times like a wet dog, but somehow it creeps back into my life. I’ve dealt with a fair ... Read More »
Plenty of people are oblivious to the many diverse forms of domestic abuse. It can be deemed physical, verbal, emotional, psychological or sexual. According to The Center for Disease Control and Prevention: every month 20 people are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. Lugubriously enough, domestic violence doesn’t just transpire between romantic partners. An immediate family ... Read More »
I always felt like I should have been born a boy. Males were always valued more, wherever I went. So, I flew under the radar, dimmed my light, my intelligence, my creativity, and independence. It was expected back in the day, and I wonder if this is still the case. I grew up in the middle of two ... Read More »
You sound white! You speak so well. You’re very articulate. As I was coming up in the world, a brown-skinned Bronx born Boricua at a time when my appearance and the sounds coming out of my mouth didn’t compute for many people. I’ll never truly know what they expected to hear, but I remember what it felt like to receive ... Read More »
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. ~Maurice Chevalier I lost my best friend when we were 32. We met when 5, in kindergarten. Marsha Moore was a wonderfully tall fat Black girl who treated me like her sister. We were sisters. Marsha didn’t get the chance to grow old. Her life in this world was ... Read More »
1989 I am eight years old. I am standing in my bedroom looking up at the black woolly hair that crowns my mother’s head. We live in a bungalow in a largely white, working-class suburb of Western Sydney. My bedroom window looks out onto a stiff, spiky lawn, permanently kept yellow-green as the grass fails, year after year, to recover ... Read More »
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